Moms for Shared Parenting is an activist organization, lead by women. Our mission is to promote equally shared parenting, with a focus on what is best for children, while simultaneously closing the gender pay gap, with a focus on media and public-education projects.
This effort includes:
- Educate the public about shared parenting research and best practices.
- Torpedo the gender inequality by changing minds and attitudes about parenting.
- Normalize equal parenting as the cultural presumption.
Out March 26, 2024 from Sourcebooks:
by Emma Johnson (me)
There is one proven method for happier kids, more involved dads, and less stressed-out moms after divorce―50/50 custody
It’s hard for everyone when parents split up―but the end of living together doesn’t need to mean the end of a functional family. Part of the reason divorces are so traumatic for the kids involved is because of our child custody system, which truly sets everyone up for failure. Throughout the country, the default arrangement is for Mom to get majority time with the kids (and most of the responsibility of caring for them), for Dad to become an occasional visitor (and perhaps saddled with massive child support payments), and for the kids to lose the stability, structure and confidence of knowing they have two equally committed, loving parents. But it doesn’t have to be this way!
In The 50/50 Solution, Wealthysinglemommy.com founder Emma Johnson showcases the robust research proving that, in the vast majority of cases, equal timesharing is the best outcome for everyone in a family where the adults no longer live together. The 50/50 Solution will show you that equal parenting time leads to:
- Better physical, emotional, and mental health for children of divorce
- Higher career earnings for single mothers
- Fathers who are more engaged and whose rights as parents are preserved
- Far less parental and legal conflict
- A progressive, forward-thinking cultural norm that promotes gender and racial equality for all families, regardless of their configuration
A few states have already adopted 50/50 custody as the default arrangement, and several more are poised to follow. Equal parenting time is the custody framework of the future, and The 50/50 Solution shows readers how it helps our families and communities thrive.
Table of Contents:
- Introduction: Equal Rights, Equal Responsibility
- 1: The Cult of Motherhood and Gender Gaps
- 2: Beyond the Male Breadwinner
- 3: Shared Parenting Is in the Best Interest
of the Child - 4: Money Always Matters
- 5: A Deeper Look at Domestic Violence
Postdivorce - 6: The Future Is Now
- 7: Solutions
- 8: FAQs about 50/50 Parenting
- Notes
Read: Single moms with 50/50 co-parenting schedules earn more, survey of 2,279 finds
Endorsements
“A sharp and thorough take on divorce that’s grounded in research and the science of child development. Johnson thinks beyond an outdated and binary battle-between-genders framework, providing a comprehensive guide to coparenting that puts kids first.” ― Jordan Shapiro, PhD, Senior Fellow for the Joan Ganz Cooney Center at Sesame Workshop, Nonresident Fellow in the Center for Universal Education at the Brookings Institution, and author of Father Figure: How to be a Feminist Dad
“With over 30 years as a divorce attorney, I’ve seen thousands of families torn apart by divorce. The 50/50 Solution is a game-changer. It’s more than a guide; it’s a hopeful vision for healthier families and a call for societal change towards gender and racial equality. Emma’s work offers practical solutions and a progressive outlook on family dynamics in the modern world.” ― Susan Guthrie, Chair Elect of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution and host of The Divorce & Beyond Podcast
“Sexism should not inform our parenting decisions. Children – and parents – do best when moms AND dads share caregiving responsibilities. The 50/50 Solution: The Surprisingly Simple Choice that Makes Moms, Dads, and Kids Happier and Healthier After a Divorce details the sneaky ways sexism continues to influence (and harm) parents, children, and society and outlines a practical, achievable alternative for separated, divorced, and unmarried parents.” ― Jennifer L.W. Fink, author of Building Boys: Raising Great Guys in a World that Misunderstands Males
“The essence of The 50/50 Solution is so obvious that it is stunning that it is not already the default: Expect moms and dads to take equal care of their kids. Emma lays out the social science supporting why this is so good for children, and challenges many of our old and sexist ideas about how to win at divorce, parenting, work and life.” ― Farnoosh Torabi, Financial Expert, Host of the So Money podcast
Examples of our work include this viral video:
The Single Mom Income and Parenting-Time Survey polled 2,279 U.S. single moms.
The big takeaway: More equality in time-sharing means higher earning for single moms
See the full results:
Out March, 2024: The 50/50 Solution, from Sourcebooks and Emma Johnson, a manifesto for why this simple answer can make millions of families better and better gender equality for all.
Related Moms for Shared Parenting posts:
Shared parenting FAQ: 101 on 50-50 physical custody
How shared parenting laws affect gender equality
Shared parenting research: Science to arm your argument, and quell your fears
Moms for Shared Parenting’s history
MFSP was started in 2019 by Emma Johnson, a journalist, and founder of Wealthysinglemommy.com, the largest platform for single moms in the world. Her books, podcast, media and speaking appearances focus on the power that women in nontraditional families have to achieve career/finance/family/relationships success in their own lives, while affecting gender equality globally.
Emma on KTLA, debating with the anchor about shared parenting, alimony and feminism. She won.
Emma says:
I have interacted with millions of single moms since starting Wealthysinglemommy.com in 2012, and see how deeply women have been affected by sexist messages that hold us back in how we approach family, relationships and work. I have also become acutely aware of the absentee father issue in this country, and how deeply that affects children, women — and society as a whole.
These issues are connected.
Despite the overwhelming research that finds that equally shared parenting time in the event of separation or divorce is what is best for kids, the majority of unpartnered moms are tasked with being sole caregiver and sole financial provider for our children.
This makes it infinitely harder to not only to raise children, but build a career, take care of ourselves, and ultimately, collectively, close the gender wage gap.
This hurts women, children, men, the economy, innovation, and our culture in countless ways.
I hear every day from women desperate for more equality in their parenting arrangements, but are often shamed and discouraged by messages from loved ones, lawyers, and quite suggestions from the culture all around them that says:
- Good moms are the primary caregiver of children
- Moms are selfish / lazy / bad moms if we expect dads to share equally in child care
- Mothers are greedy and selfish if we prioritize career and earning (or anything but sacrifice for children)
- There is something wrong with a woman if she does not want her children with her all the time
While my media work helps women break through these gender stereotypes, and embrace their passion and need to work and earn, I there are systematic problems that need fixing.
Mainly: Family courts, and the laws that inform them are stuck in the 1960s and 1970s. Courts overwhelmingly reinforce gender stereotypes by perpetuating the generations’-old standard:
Kids stay with mom, dads see kids ever-other-weekend and Wednesday evenings. Dad pays mom child support (and maybe alimony).
This model is not only laughably gender-stereotypical, it is also bad for children as it destroys their relationship with their father, and infantilizes women by institutionalizing financial dependence on men.
It is 2024 and to this I say: FUCK THAT.
In recent years, a whole body of work about shared parenting and how it affects child development has emerged. The consensus is clear: When parents live separately, children fare best when they spend approximately equal time in both parents’ homes.
I am among those who are surprised by this science. I, too, bought into the assumption that babies and children need to be primarily with their mom, that the back-and-forth between homes is too stressful for kids, that as the mom, I had an inherent upper hand in how my children would be raised.
I was wrong. You may be too.
The research on shared parenting is vast, and finds that a 50-50 time share is nearly always what is best for kids.
This is true even in cases of high conflict. This is true even when neither parent wants to equally share parenting time, but are forced to by courts. This is true even when relations between the parents remain chilly. This is true even for very young children under age 4.
The more I learned about shared parenting, the more alarmed I became that 50-50 time shares are not the norm — nor the law.
This is a gender issue, a feminist issue, and a child welfare issue. The only way this war will be won, is with women at the helm. Feminist women who understand the connection between gender equality at home, and gender equality in work, government and the world.
I’m glad you’re here. You get it. Please join. Here is how you can help change laws, family courts, and our culture’s attitudes about parenting, responsibility and equality.
Have ideas on how to promote shared parenting? Contact me. I’m all ears.